When you are considering hiring an elder care provider for your aging mother, there are several things you want to look at, consider, and talk about with her before you do. Keep in mind, it is her decision. Even though you understand the benefit an elder care provider will offer, it is still her decision.
You will need to respect that decision, even if it isn’t what you want to hear at this point in time. But, also keep in mind you don’t have to continue being her primary caregiver if it is overwhelming you, you don’t have the time, or even if you don’t have the desire. She needs to make a decision while understanding your limitations, especially if you put your foot down on this topic.
But, when it comes to discussing care for your loved one, here are three things you might want to consider talking about with her, especially before you go out and try to hire somebody without her approval.
Talk about her needs.
You may assume you know what she needs, but what does she feel she needs? Listen to what she has to say. What you may observe may be a little bit different than what she experiences or believes is necessary.
Once you are both on the same page, it becomes that much easier to select the right elder care provider.
Talk about how often elder care would be necessary.
You might be stopping by to support your mother five days a week. If you can only do it one or two days a week now because of work and other responsibilities, that means she would benefit by having somebody support her three or four days when you can’t be there for her.
The great thing about elder care is when you hire through an agency, flexibility is much easier. She could rely on somebody for just one day, five days, or even seven days. She can even count on somebody for just a couple of hours in the morning or in the evening.
Talk about who she will be comfortable with.
The type of person providing this care will matter. Your mother needs to get along with this individual, especially if she is going to be supported by this elder care provider several days during the week.
Find out who she would prefer. Does age matter? Experience? Personality? Finding out these things will help you narrow the search when choosing a quality elder care provider.